Is the grass greener?

After gaining almost 50 lbs while being pregnant with my baby, I’m happy to say that I have about 8 more lbs to go til I’m back at my pre-pregnancy weight. Not sure how much of an accomplishment that is actually, since I still had about 25lbs left from the birth of my 4 year old. Oh well, I’m taking it all in stride. Women’s bodies are meant to change when they have children, right? That is, unless you’re a celebrity. Put it this way, until I can afford to hire Gunnar Peterson, I’ll be walking and waiting until I can return to the gym.

This week has been moving along quite nicely, the VO audition I had on Tuesday went great, and I got my daughter’s submission out on Monday as I’d hoped to. One thing I haven’t done yet is send out my postcards. Let me explain, I almost choked on my Wrigley’s Gum when Kinko’s told me how much they wanted to charge me to have 20 of them printed up. Needless to say, I will be scraping up my pennies, and hopefully, heading up to Reproductions sometime within the next week or so. I have to get those darn things out!

I’m still waiting to hear something from my New Mexico agent. I was told by the CD when I was there that production on MOTEL MAN would start yesterday. There's still hope though, it's a 6 part miniseries, so I'm certain they'll be filming for a while. Send out some positive vibes for me, I could really use a booking right now.

Speaking of New Mexico, I received my Film NM Directory for 2006 on Tuesday, which lists EVERYONE of interest in New Mexico. I only had time to skim through its 344 pages, but as I get more time, I intend to pull out the people of interest to me and contact them with my info.

Back on the home front, I sent my L.A. agent yet another e-mail yesterday morning asking for some suggestions on what I can be doing to garner more TV and commercial auditions, preferably something that costs little or no money. I haven’t been out with her since ER back in March. Five months ago! I mean I know I just had a baby at the beginning of June, but come on now, it’s the middle of August, and my Maternity Leave will be over soon. I did put some of my unbraided shots in the mail to them yesterday. Maybe that will help. Revisiting the old headshot might spark some interest.

NEWS FLASH: To be painfully honest, at this point, I don’t even think I care anymore. I’m on the fence about everything. I’m just getting so frustrated with this business. The thing is, I'll be 30 this year, I moved here when I was 20, and my life is so different now. I'm married, I have two kids, and it hurts me to think about the amount of time and money I spend focused on a dream that may never, ever come true. Don’t get me wrong I love acting, and my goal has never been to become a superstar. I just wanted to be able to say to people “Yes, I’m a professional actor. I act for a living.” But now, instead of spending a full Saturday at home working on a postcard (that will probably end up in the trash can anyway), I’d rather be taking my girls to the park, or catching a movie with my husband. I guess I’m just burnt out on the whole idea of it all. *sigh* Maybe I just need a break for a while. The sky was so clear back in New Mexico.

Mrs. Moore