Thursday, August 17, 2006

Is the grass greener?

After gaining almost 50 lbs while being pregnant with my baby, I’m happy to say that I have about 8 more lbs to go til I’m back at my pre-pregnancy weight. Not sure how much of an accomplishment that is actually, since I still had about 25lbs left from the birth of my 4 year old. Oh well, I’m taking it all in stride. Women’s bodies are meant to change when they have children, right? That is, unless you’re a celebrity. Put it this way, until I can afford to hire Gunnar Peterson, I’ll be walking and waiting until I can return to the gym.

This week has been moving along quite nicely, the VO audition I had on Tuesday went great, and I got my daughter’s submission out on Monday as I’d hoped to. One thing I haven’t done yet is send out my postcards. Let me explain, I almost choked on my Wrigley’s Gum when Kinko’s told me how much they wanted to charge me to have 20 of them printed up. Needless to say, I will be scraping up my pennies, and hopefully, heading up to Reproductions sometime within the next week or so. I have to get those darn things out!

I’m still waiting to hear something from my New Mexico agent. I was told by the CD when I was there that production on MOTEL MAN would start yesterday. There's still hope though, it's a 6 part miniseries, so I'm certain they'll be filming for a while. Send out some positive vibes for me, I could really use a booking right now.

Speaking of New Mexico, I received my Film NM Directory for 2006 on Tuesday, which lists EVERYONE of interest in New Mexico. I only had time to skim through its 344 pages, but as I get more time, I intend to pull out the people of interest to me and contact them with my info.

Back on the home front, I sent my L.A. agent yet another e-mail yesterday morning asking for some suggestions on what I can be doing to garner more TV and commercial auditions, preferably something that costs little or no money. I haven’t been out with her since ER back in March. Five months ago! I mean I know I just had a baby at the beginning of June, but come on now, it’s the middle of August, and my Maternity Leave will be over soon. I did put some of my unbraided shots in the mail to them yesterday. Maybe that will help. Revisiting the old headshot might spark some interest.

NEWS FLASH: To be painfully honest, at this point, I don’t even think I care anymore. I’m on the fence about everything. I’m just getting so frustrated with this business. The thing is, I'll be 30 this year, I moved here when I was 20, and my life is so different now. I'm married, I have two kids, and it hurts me to think about the amount of time and money I spend focused on a dream that may never, ever come true. Don’t get me wrong I love acting, and my goal has never been to become a superstar. I just wanted to be able to say to people “Yes, I’m a professional actor. I act for a living.” But now, instead of spending a full Saturday at home working on a postcard (that will probably end up in the trash can anyway), I’d rather be taking my girls to the park, or catching a movie with my husband. I guess I’m just burnt out on the whole idea of it all. *sigh* Maybe I just need a break for a while. The sky was so clear back in New Mexico.

Mrs. Moore

7 comments:

  1. You ARE a professional actor, dammit!

    (sniff....) :(

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  2. Thanks Melissa...:)...You've certainly brightened my day. I guess I should be more positive about how far I HAVE come.

    - Shenita.

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  3. You don't even realize how much you've accomplished already. All those LAZY actors complainng about day jobs and responsibilities and you're responsiible for two little people AND making all this happen. I was just talking to a friend about this but don't give up. It will still happen and I think when it does, you'll look back on this time and realize that this was what it took to get you there. Keep your chin up!!!


    *** Oh yeah, I'm getting taft-hartleyed tommorrow. I'm finally SAG eligible! Only took me one year and a half;) It's the destination, not the journey

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  4. Thanks for the support girls!

    Hollie: Congrats on the taft-hartley!

    JK: Drive safe, and good luck in Santa Fe!

    - Shenita.

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  5. Hey Mrs. Moore,

    Did you hear that? "Mrs. Moore". That is a pretty major accomplishment in my book, "Mrs." Moore.

    I also hear you have two beautiful babies. I think that's an even bigger accomplishment than the whole "Mrs." thing.

    You see what I'm getting at; You're amazing. Keep being amazing.

    This business is not the end all be all and I know you know that. I'm just saying don't be so hard on yourself. Pace yourself - breathe and have a great week!!

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  6. Thanks Stephon! That is so true. If I look it at it that way, I have nothing to fret about...:)...

    - Shenita.

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  7. Don't fret Chica, you've made some major strides in your 10 year journey and it's not over yet.

    I find that when I focus on other things, my phone mysteriously begans to ring.

    Peace

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